Meja study..hehh

Yelah takde motif .. saje

Talk about karma.

One of my friend told me he has been haunted by KARMA now, after doing bad thing to other people 3 years ago. He left his girlfriend for other woman without telling her anything, didnt give her any sign. At that time he didnt feel guitly at all. He was very happy with the new woman. And now the woman left him for younger man. She just ditch him away, similar way he left his previous girlfriend. He said to me, karma is doing its job, its take only 3 years to punish him for the wrong doing. "What ever you give, you get back". Popular qoute. Everyone know it.

I now single after being double for almost three years. Do I now been punished by my own KARMA? I take 'him' from other woman. I was young and stupid last time, he told me he already break up from his fiance. And right after 3 years (yes, also 3 years) he went away from me. Seems like karma is punishing me. Serve me right. Will pray for that 'kakak' hapiness ever after. I heard shes already married. She called me, to confirm my relationship with her fiance at that time, shes nice and soft talking person. Dont ever take others happiness for yours, maybe the most selfish thing to do. KARMA will for sure punish you well.  

Kerja and Jodoh

Man, man, man, man...banyak gila kerja sekarang. bulan 6 aku ade present final result. memang menangis kali ni dengan keje and tekanan yang bakal dihadapi. Sampai personal life pon dah berterabur. Very shitty perasaannye disaat semua orang sedang manghadapi kebahagian menjalani alam perkahwinan, bina keluarga yakni beranak dan terus beranak. Huh...Entah bila aku nak lalui semua tu. Calon untuk nak kawen pon takde, apetah lagi nak pregnant and ade anak?? Liat jodoh. Mungkin aku akan jd mcm ni..Huhh..Orang sekeliling dah tanya, bila nak kahwin....Mana la aku tahu, jodoh Allah yang tentukan. Huhh..Need to pray very hard kot.

Kata-kata Maha Pencipta

That God may forgive you your mistakes of the past and those to follow, and to perfect His blessing upon you, and guide you to the Sraight Path.

(Surah Al Fath 48:2)

Hari ini lebih baik dari semalam.

Semalam ade usrah. Actually aku terpaksa join satu kumpulan usrah yg di'conduct' oleh kawan aku. Memang liat sangat nak pergi setiap mlm khamis, tapi terpaksa la nak jaga hati kawan aku tu. Tapi setiap kali aku berusrah ni, mamang banyak input menarik tentang agama yang aku dapat. Semalam masa usrah kitaorang buat makan-makan. Roti sardin celup telur. Sambil-sambil tu kawan aku ni tanya la ape yg kitorang buat hari ni, adakah lebih baik dari hari semalam. Dia bagitau kita kena selalu analyse adakah hari ini lebih baik dari hari sebelomnye dan berazam supaya hari esok lebih baik dari hari ini. Must plan apa yang kita nak buat esok, letakkan target. So bila aku pikir-pikir ape yang aku dh buat hari ni compare dengan semalam, hari ini nampaknye lebih baik. Kalau semalam aku bangun pukul 10 pagi, mengakibatkan aku terlambat untuk masok lab untuk buat analysis, pasal method yang aku pakai banyak step, mau 5,6 jam baru siap. So aku just lepak dalam bilik siswazah, bual-bual dengan teman sesupervisor. Buat keje sikit sangat, banyak buang masa berinternet and dengar lagu. Tapi hari ini aku bangun lebih awal. Pkol 9.10 pagi camtu, mandi and bersiap cepat-cepat, teros masok lab and mulakan keje. Malam pulak aku plan nak kuar dengan farah, tapi farah ditch aku. Tak jadi jumpe padahal aku dah excited dah. Sampai hati kau farah. Huhhh.... Tengah malam sikit on facebook, nampak kawan lama online. Boring, so try ajak die chatting..tiba-tiba dia teros offline. Hm somehow felt a lil bit sad at the end of the day. Hari ni mungkin lebih baik dari semalam tapi kerja matter tak mempengaruhi mood aku tapi personal thingy sangat influence aku punya emosi dan semangat, untuk teroskan hari esok...

Manusia itu tidak sempurna

Sepanjang hidup mungkin kita akan ade seorang atau lebih idola atau orang yang betul-betul buat kita kagum. Kita nak mencontohi dia, nak jadi macam dia, nak berjaya macam dia. Benda ni aku alami dalam 3,4 bulan lepas, yang mana aku sangat kagum dengan supervisor aku sendiri. She a successful woman in her area, have so many research grant, so many papers publish, high KPI, have so many students under her supervision, produced good students with so many papers and blablabla good. She never failed give me courage to finish my work, a loser fuck*d up student like me, she never ever ditch me. Her kindness and patience catch my heart, I adored her so much, want to be like her, successful researcher, and give big contribution to people. I even jogged with her almost everyday, eventho i hate jogging very much, went eating with her every night after working, accompanied her almost every weekend at faculty, working. I like her so much, I can even say I love her, until I knew the true things about her, how she actually handle things, her life now, and also her past...my feeling just faded...I am shocked. Very shocked. My respect towards her...Gone.

Can I stay away forever?

WHY??

Tak pasti kenapa ngan aku lately, some people keep telling me their personal problems, secrets and etc. Masalah2 dalam kelambu pon nak crite dekat aku. hey selesai sendri la! Aku ni nampak macam kaunselor ke bai??? I dont think so..! Penat aku dengar masalah orang lain even masalah tu takde kaitan ngan aku pon, still kepala otak aku rasa saket gile, tak mampu nk digest masalah diorg yg tak logik dek akal tu. Walhal aku sendiri punye banyak gile masalah sekarang takde nak kecoh pon...(bukan aku tengah taip kat blog ke ni?). Kang tak pasal2 aku pon terheret sama dalam masalah diorg, jenuh gak tu. Harap keadaan ni akan reda..malas nak layan.

Tanda-tanda seseorang itu jodoh kita

1) Dipermudahkan

2) Mendekati Tuhan

Kredit? (tak ingat blog mana, 2012)

*****rasa nak blogging balik tp psl ape? huhh..